A great leap backwards for the busy GP
I HAVE always been intrigued by time travel, if a bit sceptical. Then I stumbled on a hidden truth – it really is possible to go back in time. When you squeeze as much as I do into your morning before work, you just might discover something significant before breakfast.
I’m not exactly sure why the cosmos has chosen me to reveal this precious treasure. Maybe it had something to do with a power outage on a sizzling summer’s day, or it was the change from daylight saving time? Perhaps someone fumbled when setting the alarm clock. Whatever the reason, something amazing kept occurring.
I would wake up, look at the clock, confirm that I was running late, jump out of bed, scurry frantically around doing the usual things and, just as I was leaving the house, I would be pleasantly surprised by the clock in the dining room. Instant relief – I had more time than I had thought. I always gained 15 precious minutes when I left my bedroom.
Did my finding have anything to do with the theory of relativity? Who knows? But it seemed to me that my frenetic activity wound back time.
The discovery is of obvious practical, if not theoretical, interest. Although I’m unable to offer mathematical proof (which precludes, I suppose, any chance of a Nobel Prize) I remain struck by the profound implications of this. The fact that I’ve been able to repeat the experiment and get the same result shows I’m not just hallucinating.
I soon proved that the speed of my actions in the bedroom weren’t crucial. And it didn’t matter if I hopped, skipped, or jumped out of bed. It was more the movement out of the bedroom that produced the effect.
Of course there have been critics who have tried to cast doubt on my findings. They can’t bear to see my success. All I can say is that my ability to have an extra quarter hour every morning has been of immense benefit.
I admit that it is still early days. My method of time travel hasn’t allowed me to go further back in time, like to the Renaissance. But I’m happy with my first small steps backwards. Who knows, I might just follow up with one giant leap in reverse for mankind.