Wit 'n' wisdom - 10 April 2012

DR HARPREET Singh of Byford, WA, saw a young man accompanied by his father for his ongoing tiredness. Physical examination was normal and he ordered some screening investigations. 

The blood tests were reported as normal, while a urine specimen showed the presence of some red blood cells.

On the follow-up appointment, Dr Singh explained all the results to the patient and his father and advised the son to do a repeat urine dipstick examination in the office to look for persisting red blood cells. The young man was shocked by the suggestion and asked him which orifice he would be “dipping a stick” in to check him.

Dr Merian Waks of Carrum Downs, Vic, had a lovely old gentleman come in to see her who started telling her all the things he does that keep him robust at 80. 

He claimed his wife, however, had more energy than he did, despite having a pacemaker. He went on to say that recently, when he was chasing her around the kitchen table, she lapped him twice.

Another lovely more mature couple brought in their IVF, late in life-conceived, very precious, first baby. He had developed a preference for S-26 infant formula over NAN, and good-natured dad confessed he was drinking the old NAN. Dr Waks is happy to say that dad is not constipated and appears to be thriving.

Dr Kym Horsnell of Everton Park, Qld, claims in her locum work she has come to deal with strange requests over the years.

Recently she was asked to see a walk-in patient for a repeat prescription. He said he’d travelled interstate to a relative’s funeral. He looked a little suspicious. However, he described his car accident injuries and requested Dr Horsnell provide a prescription for “cotton”. 

It sounded very odd, until after some prompting, the doctor worked out he was trying to wheedle some MS Contin out of him. He left empty handed. 

If you are going to hit up the locum for narcotics, at least get the name right.

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