W’N’W legend Dr Kat Koh may have changed her surname by dint of recent nuptials, but her sense of humour is undiminished.

Now known as Dr Kat Ritchie of Strathfieldsaye, Vic, she sent us these two gems. 

An Egyptian colleague was assisting her in a wedge resection procedure the other day. 

As Dr Ritchie cut into the nail and the nail bed, she heard him say soothingly to the young female patient, “Okay, we are starting. You should feel pleasure, not pain.” 

Dr Ritchie laughed so hard she had to put down the scalpel before explaining that his accent makes some consonants like ‘r’ a little bit tricky.

Recently, a female patient complained: “My knees make creaking, crackling sounds.”

“Ah yes,” said Dr Ritchie, “crepitus.” 

Much to her surprise, the patient greeted this statement with cackles of laughter. 

“Decrepitus!” she said gleefully, “What an appropriate name.” 

Dr Ritchie had trouble convincing her that she’d misheard. Perhaps ‘presbycusis’ should be the next term she teaches her.

Dr Elizabeth Martin of Woree, Qld, finds that her patients sometimes feel the need to explain why they have swapped GPs and chosen her as their preferred doctor. 

Recently a 55-year-old man surprised her by explaining that the older you get, the more likely it is that one day the news will be bad. “So I picked you as I thought you’d be good at breaking bad news.”

Dr Hilda Khoo of West Leederville, WA, had just been introduced to someone socially who started to explain that the reason he would not join the group for dinner was because, past a certain hour, he found that eating would precipitate gastric reflux symptoms. 

She listened to his experience of GORD with interest while noticing he was drinking coffee in place of having dinner. 

Contributing to the conversation, she suggested that caffeine was likely to exacerbate his reflux by “lowering the sphincter tone”, but was somewhat mortified when he promptly concurred by launching into a description of personal bowel habits and stool. 

They were obviously visualising different sphincters here.

Win more for your stories

Another great week of wit – it’s a well-earned $100 each. 

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