Wit'n'wisdom - 18 May 2012

W’N’W legend and poet Dr Andrew MacDonald of Cooks Hill, NSW, somehow finds time to send us stories – and here are three gems.

One patient said she’d been on the internet and done her research. She said she knew what she had – sinus tachycardia. 

“When does it happen?” Dr Mac asked her.

“At the gym when I exercise.” 

He was thinking that was totally plausible. 

“My heart goes fast and then my nose blocks up along with my face and the rest of my head. It’s definitely sinus tachycardia.”

Oh my gosh, blocked up head and rapid pulse. Sinus tachycardia, but not as we know it. Which pages was she doing the internet research on? One on sinus, the other on tachycardia? He was sure they weren’t on the same page, and neither was he.

Whenever Dr MacDonald asks about allergies, he holds his breath. He is forever amazed at the answers. He never realised how many people were “allergic” to country and western music. Other combinations of allergies are equally intriguing: potatoes and cats, guinea pigs and suntan cream, for example.

Finally, an elderly regular limped in early on Saturday morning. He rolled up his trouser leg and showed the doctor his grazed and swollen right knee.

“What happened?” Dr Mac­Donald asked.

“I fell out of bed. I was having a bad dream. 

“My wife laughed and said I was bucked out by a nightmare. She thought it was hilarious. 

“If I wasn’t in so much pain, I might be inclined to agree.”

Dr Kat Ritchie of Strathfieldsaye, Vic, had a patient who was explaining how he’d recently been in hospital with an asthma attack. 

But he’s been really good since, hardly even needing his salbutamol “huffer” since she prescribed him a preventer. 

Isn’t it amazing how often patients make a slip like that which reveals the true nature of their distress?