Wit’n’wisdom March 19

Another patient had demonstrable hearing impairment in one ear and very poor vision in one eye.

IN a world first, W’n’W stalwart Dr Arjun von Caemmerer of Moonah, Tas, has a foursome for us.

Recently, he sent an MSU off on a patient with a suspected urinary tract infection. The result showed the lab had mislabelled her street address: from Churinga Waters Drive it had become “Churning” Waters Drive. Which is, of course, a likely place for a UTI to develop.

Like so many of us, Dr von Caemmerer has a patient who persistently asks for the “genetic” brand of medication. However, in this case, it is perhaps not inappropriate, given his treatment is for familial hypercholesterolaemia.

Another patient had demonstrable hearing impairment in one ear and very poor vision in one eye. In response to Dr von’s query about whether he’d had any previous audiograms for comparison, it turned out he had: a new audiology practice had opened up close to his home and was fishing for customers by offering free hearing tests.  

He said: “I could not turn a blind eye to them drumming up business.”

Finally, another patient proudly proclaimed she had lost weight with her new regimen of exercise and diet. And she had.“Keep on keeping on,” Dr von said encouragingly.

“You mean keep on keeping off,” she answered back. 

Dr Olga Ostrowskyj of Broadmeadow,  NSW, received an email from her receptionist: “Subject: Rebecca – new patient. Rebecca has never been to see you before but wondered if you wouldn’t mind seeing her any time soon?

“She has a Barcelona cyst the size of a 20c piece on the genital area which keeps getting bigger and more and more uncomfortable. Can we let her know?”

Dr Ostrowskyj forwarded this email to her colleagues in Broadmeadow, stating this honest mistake qualified for Wit’n’Wisdom, and signed off: “Ole!”

The responses included: 

Dr Michelle Kelso: Send it in, and if it’s published, give the money to your receptionist.

Dr Erica Rowley: Loved the “Ole!”

Dr Neville Rothfield (who, at 88, they believe may be Australia’s oldest working GP): Probably a “Fawlty” diagnosis.